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Blog

The Shame Lady's Blog

Wearing shame on your shoulders?

Kristina Cizmar

Excuse me, but is that shame that's weighing so heavily on your shoulders?

I see it in you because I have felt it in myself.

My shame was like a heavy cloak I wore for most of my life. Like a coat that both weighed me down, and also kept me safely hidden.

Even at times in my life when I've thought I was keeping my emotions to myself, I realize that I've been wearing my emotions in and on my body.

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Mental Health Shame

Kristina Cizmar

Our culture has an ideal of "perfect mental health" - either have it or pretend that you do. The truth is that just as there is a full spectrum of physical health, there is also a full spectrum of mental health. In a new film, I reveal that I do not fall in the "pefect" category. Revealing this is a sign of strength, not weakness.

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Shame and Social Change

Kristina Cizmar

Lately I have felt so inspired by people who learn this way of working with shame, and carry it forward. If I’m lucky, I get to witness a ‘housecleaning’ of sorts: people doing a systematic review of the ideals that are held by the groups they belong to.

Why do group ideals matter? Because shame arises when we are failing to live up to these group ideals. Yes, even when we think our shame is all about us, shame really has more to do with our need to belong.

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